Making Periodic Abstinence Work for You

All natural methods of family planning (NFP) require periods of abstinence from genital intercourse and genital contact for couples who are avoiding pregnancy. Periodic abstinence also occurs naturally throughout a couple's life such as during times of illness, business trips, or mood swings.

Couples often feel challenged by the experience of having to abstain from genital activity and also may feel there can be a lack of spontaneity in their sexual life.

However, periodic abstinence has many positive elements which enhance a complete experience of human sexuality. Although couples who use NFP need to periodically abstain from genital activity, they never have to abstain from a holistic sexuality. Most of human sexuality occurs from giving and receiving as males and females from the mind and heart.

Couples who are having difficulty achieving pregnancy will also benefit from periods of abstinence from genital contact. Periodic abstinence may enhance their chances of achieving pregnancy, in addition to providing benefits to the relationship.

A holistic sexual expression includes Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Communicative, and Emotional dimensions (SPICE).

Abstinence in Infertility

For couples with infertility there may be a problem with the man's sperm count. Having intercourse too frequently may lower the sperm count further and exacerbate this problem. Abstinence from intercourse until the time of fertility may increase the chances of achieving pregnancy.

Also, many couples with infertility have experienced sexual intercourse becoming "mechanical" and less pleasurable as they have frequent intercourse to try to get pregnant. Since the Creighton Model FertilityCare System tells a couple exactly which days are fertile, they can have intercourse mainly on those days and avoid this problem.

Further information about the applications of the Creighton Model FertilityCare System to infertility can be obtained from your FertilityCare Practitioner or FertilityCare Medical Consultant.

Spiritual Benefits

Periodic abstinence can also bring spiritual benefits. The time of abstinence can be a quiet time without sexual expectations. A contemplative time to listen to each other and to God. A time of trust and discernment. A time to develop an understanding of God's plan for each couple and family.

Living with Periodic Abstinence

Couples who are experienced users of NFP best deal with periodic abstinence by planning ahead for the fertile time. Users of NFP learn to follow the patterns of their cycles and are able to interpret and predict the rhythms of their infertile times.

Couples adapt best to periodic abstinence during the fertile time by planning ahead to express their sexuality in a non-genital fashion. Such expressions develop non-genital aspects of the relationship in a variety of dimensions which can be summarized as “SPICE.” Examples of non-genital behaviors of SPICE are as follows:

To discuss further ideas on how to deal with periodic abstinence and/or ideas about the practice of SPICE, you may wish to meet with your FertilityCare Practitioner.

Brief SPICE Questionnaire

Respond to each of the following 10 SPICE behaviors by circling either:

Add the responses. You may complete this inventory individually or as a couple.

TOTAL SCORE =

Just as too little spice in food can spoil the meal, so too in a relationship.

Benefits of Abstinence

Many couples experience what they call the "honeymoon" effect, in that sexual expression remains new and exciting when they practice periodic abstinence.

Furthermore, planned sexual encounters often bring more satisfaction than uncontrolled "in the heat of passion" responses. The available data indicate that frequency of sexual intercourse among users of NFP is about the same as that among users of various contraceptive methods.

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